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Linda and Angie's Afternoon Tea - The Lowry Hotel Manchester (05/03/14) (1 Viewer)

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Here is the hilarious write up of the fun that Linda and I had when she took me for afternoon tea!

Linda surprised me on my first Guest Slot at Salford College with a gift voucher for my birthday which was for a champagne afternoon tea. I have to confess that when she gave it to me I never actually read the voucher and went on assumption rather than fact. This will become clear shortly!

Linda had booked the 'afternoon' prior to my second guest slot lesson in which I was teaching the ladies some Easter designs. She agreed to pick me up from my mum's house and then chauffeur me to the Lowry or so I thought. For those of you that know Manchester you will be aware that there is The Lowry Outlet Mall and The Lowry Hotel. So when Linda said the Lowry I just assumed she meant the outlet mall at the The Quays. So as we are heading into town Linda asks me where the Lowry is to which I replied I don't actually come this was to the Quays to which she replies we're not going to the Quays we're going to the Lowry Hotel.


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Well people I have never been to the Lowry Hotel so currently have no idea where we are going! This is when Linda then takes me the scenic route around town, looking up and down streets looking for the hotel. We can see it in the distance we just have to work out a means of actually getting to it. So after a few laps around the block a lot of pointing and then a quick take a right we finally managed to end up in the car park of the hotel.

I love the fact that we rock up in a Megane and Linda slaps the car slap bang between two very shiny prestige cars. At this point, I feel like we are on a Bill and Ted's adventure because, with Linda, anything can happen! We vacate the vehicle and then are greeted by the doormen who politely greets us and advise us where to go.

We make our way up the stairs to a lovely seated area and are quickly attended to by a waiter who offers us drinks and snacks whilst we await our table. At this point I'm having a look round and this place has the regular businessmen who are waiting for their lunchtime appointments, a few office people and me and Linda. Linda is currently devouring the mixture of nuts they have given us, apparently they are very tasty and Linda just can't get enough. I opted for an Orange juice and was a bit surprised when a full glass of cold nicely squeezed pure orange juice came my way, I just assumed I would end up with some bottled orange out of the fridge.

After about ten mins our table was ready, and we were shown into the dining area, Linda's wearing flipflops leggings and a long 3/4 summer top, and I've got on my college gear of black pants, animal print top and my black puffy Timbaland 3/4 length bubble jacket. We were asked upon entering if they could take our coats, but I refused on the fact that I've got no bag and all my stuff was in my pockets, and Linda just decided to keep hers.

As we make our way in there is a table of what I can only describe as 'Sex in the City' ladies who are very well-groomed, impeccably dressed and are definite ladies that lunch. They are looking at us as we enter, I think that they are slightly perturbed at the riff-raff that has just entered the room who have been placed to the table on their right. I can see the glances, and I'm currently feeling slightly out of my depth! This place is feeling rather posh for me, and now I'm wishing I had been dressed differently and had given in my coat.

So after being seated by a lovely young lady and a cotton napkin (not a regular paper napkin) being placed on our lap, we are then greeted by one of many waitresses. Our first one brings over the glasses of champagne (I'm not drinking mine as I'm an all or nothing kind of girl if I'm driving no drink passes my lips whatsoever) so I now have my orange juice and my champagne. We are then given menu's for tea's and coffee and asked to select which variety we would like; then after the tea and coffee selection for later, we are then asked if we would like some water. Linda says no because she doesn't drink water and the manager explains that the waitress who is with him is in fact training, I accept the water graciously (if I don't have water how is she going to learn to pour it). She is a lovely waitress with a nice smile and the manager who is with her is very polite and very professional showing and explaining the ritual of the afternoon tea. Before he leaves, he asks if we would like the hot drinks now to which I respond no. I'm looking at the table thinking I'm going to be swimming in the stuff if I accept any more drinks. So he thanks us and makes his exit.


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Linda and I are sat chatting and people watching, at this point, I decided that I'm all in now, I'm out of my comfort zone so what the hell I'm going to enjoy this experience. So out comes the camera for our first selfie! We cannot get the angle right, and I remember reading something about Kim Kardashian holding it at such and such an angle to get a good pose. So me and Linda are pouting and giggling away like a couple of schoolgirls, it's her first selfie too!

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Not long after our sandwiches arrive with a handsome waiter who begins by asking us if we are celebrating, Linda tells him it's my birthday treat so then he wishes me a belated birthday and then proceeds to rhyme off all the butties on the stand and the desserts too. I'm glad he did because I don't do salmon, so that saves me trying to swallow that whole. Next we are brought some Battenburg cake from a german waitress who explains that today's Battenburg is Banana and red velvet flavoured and originates in the Village of Battenburg in Germany. I didn't actually know this, it's some very good cake info to have as I will use it in my lessons. I take pictures of the sandwiches and cake for my write up! I must admit though my first impressions of the cake were it looked far more savoury than sweet and actually reminded me of a pork pie than anything else. (It was delicious and very moist though).

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I've now taken my first sandwich from the stand which is a ham and pea sandwich, I'm not keen on the idea of the sandwich but think I will try it anyway, in for a penny in for a pound. As I do some of the peas fall straight into my lap and I discover I'm eating garden peas.....I don't do garden peas! So I try and politely pick the peas from my lap and place the sandwich onto my plate. I then skip the salmon sandwich and head for the chicken wrap. These are actually very nice, so Linda says she'll eat the salmon and I can have her chicken. It's like swapsies at dinnertime! Linda then discovers the little tartlets they have been brought over to us, however as she picks the plate up and turns to me to offer me one the tartlet flies of the plate and hits the deck. Yes, you've guessed it, it's entire contents are now on the floor. At this point I cannot stop laughing, so much so I'm practically crying at the table. I want to mop it up, but I've got a posh napkin so I cannot use that and I have no tissues on me either. I then decide to take a pic and Linda's protesting and looking around for a waiter. I'm taking photo's of the mishap Linda's trying to flag someone down and god only knows what the Sex and the City clan think of us now!

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After the laughter subsided I pulled myself together and went and apologised to the manager; he quickly sorted the problem as we are profusely apologising for chucking food round the place and another lovely waitress brings us a replacement tartlet. As you can see from the picture, Linda's now holding onto the plate for dear life.

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We then continue to devour the sandwiches and desserts and then finish off with our Vimto shots, I'm actually glad I had found my cutlery by then because before that I had been eating with my fingers and had actually wondered how on earth I was going to have the jelly shot other than necking it! I'm sure that would have gone down a storm!

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We are then onto our next course of hot scones and tea, Linda makes reference to the fact that she would not like to be the one to have to wash up in the hotel can you imagine she says.
We eat the scones, and although they are nice, they are not as nice as the ones Linda and I make so I only have the one with my cup of tea from my very posh teapot! We are chatting again, and for some reason, I end up swishing my tea and throwing tea all over the lovely white table linen whilst Linda proceeds to start shouting quick get the camera to which I refuse constantly. I am mortified and am trying to dab the tea and hide the stain! We are in hysterics again; seriously we shouldn't be let out on own, there is always some drama!

After finishing up what's left of the afternoon, Linda gets the remainder of the scones wrapped up, and we thank the staff for a wonderful afternoon. Linda is a tad sad because if she had known, we didn't get any more of those peanuts we had earlier she would have poured the rest in her bag for later! I giggle, she makes me laugh.

We head out of the hotel and back towards the car park, the doorman wishes us a lovely day, and we head towards the car. As I get to the car, I decided that I want to go back in and see if they have a flyer. We've had such a lovely relaxing afternoon that I actually think I want to do this again. I tell Linda I won't be a minute and head back inside and ask the doorman where I can pick up some literature. He is very helpful and shows me where to get some from.

As I bid him goodbye again, I now look to head back to the car where I think Linda is waiting! Wrong, she has gone, I scan around and see that she is waiting near the barrier to exit the car park. I quickly get back into the car. She then proceeds to go left, which is the way we came in, the next minute the taxi driver and the man with him start waving at us and tell us we cannot go that way. We giggle and then Linda starts to do a 3 point turn, the 1st turn is fine as she puts it in reverse, the next turn I'm slightly panicking as she puts it in 1st gear and then ends up about 4 inches of the back of a new sparkly Porsche. I'm now covering my eyes the taxi guys and the doormen are now on tenterhooks, and I am praying that she puts it into reverse and moves the hell away from that Porsche. I cover my eyes, the taxi men laugh, and Linda does her fantastic manoeuvre. Yippee! she puts it into reverse and then heads out to the exit along with a wave from the relieved doormen!

At this point I'm now howling with laughter, Linda never does anything by halves and tells me she is a good driver, you know! This is when she heads to the traffic lights and then proceeds to put her foot down when it's heading for amber, and I'm screaming for her to stop. I thank her for a lovely afternoon and advise her that I felt slightly out of place and would have dressed up a little more if I had known how posh it was. She says what do you mean, I'm wearing my best Tesco top, and it cost me full price. We giggle again and then head back to my mums. We've had a fabulous afternoon and are now all psyched up for tonight's lesson.
 
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Oh my god what are you like.
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Mind you it does sound like you had a good time and obviously the management took it all in their stride.
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