Hi
@Anna
Welcome to the site.
I've known other site members who have had the same problems when weighing out ingredients beforehand and have had similar issues like yourself. Please don't get disheartened because you can make a fab Victoria Sponge.
I always weigh out my ingredients, but I never weigh the eggs. This always seems to be the bone of contention where my other members have been concerned.
When I make a Victoria Sponge/sandwich, I always use the creaming method, this is where you beat the butter and sugar together; this creates air in the batter which traps in the sugar crystals and makes your cake lighter. This goes a more pale yellow colour the more you whisk it, this is good as the paler the mixture the more air you will have in the cake. I then add my eggs one at a time and then mix them in very quickly about a ten seconds blast with my hand whisk I then add the flour fold it in first then give it a little blast with the hand mixer.
I only tend to use the all-in-one method when I make my Madeira cakes.
Using the all-in-one method misses out on the aeration process, so you can underbeat or overbeat your batter, which will have a knock-on effect on the cake. If you do it in stages, you are constantly adding air into the mixture. Even by sieving your flour, you incorporate air into the batter. I don't tend to sieve the flour when making a Vic Sponge, but you can do this if you want to.
I, too, use unsalted butter in some of my bakes, but then I also use a buttery spread, too. Currently, I use Countrylife Spreadable.
If your ingredients are in date and at room temp, then I think it's the mixing process. The problem with all-in-one is that you want to mix all the ingredients together but then not too much so that you overbeat and then end up with a tough, dense cake.
What you could do is use Mary Berry's recipe again but do it in stages and see if that works for you. Either that or try my tutorials. The Victoria Sandwich Recipe is very quick and easy to do, and one a lot of my members/students have loved over the years as it's very versatile and can be modified to make chocolate cakes/coffee cakes, etc.
I do hope that the above is helpful to you, but if you need anything further, then please let me know.
Best wishes
Angie